HOW MODEST IS MODEST?

May 13th, 2013 | By admin

by Katt Anderson

Recently we had a comment about modesty. Where do you find modest clothes? That’s the ones that cover a girl and does not bring attention to her. It is very hard. This is what I would tell teen girls.

First let’s look at modesty. How modest is modest? Do you influence others by what you wear? How do you sit? Do you want others to follow your example?

According to Merriman-Webster’s Dictionary, modesty is: freedom from conceit or vanity: propriety in dress, speech, or conduct. Personally, I like the second definition better, since we are talking about our modest dress. Propriety is what is socially acceptable. Although we let immodesty reign in our society, it doesn’t make it acceptable.

When we look at modesty in the Bible, it says this in 1 Timothy 2:8-10 we read,
⁸ I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; ⁹ in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, ¹⁰ but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. From that, we must be clothed sensibly, not bring attention to ourselves as some of the idol worshipers did.

It is so hard in this world to find decent clothes. You have to search to find a dress or blouse that is not too low necked. If you do find something you like that does have a lower neck, get a camy to go under it. Sometimes we have to alter the neckline of a shirt to make it fit right, instead of gaping open. exposing ourselves. You may have to take up the straps of a camy to make it higher at the neck. The most important advice I have for you is to try the clothes on before you buy them. They may look so cute on the hanger, but hang wrong on you.

When you are trying on clothes, check the mirror in the dressing room. Sit down on the bench and see how the shirt looks in a sitting position. Look at how the skirt falls when you are sitting. If it rides up, it is too short. Also, lift your arms up. If the shirt shows your belly, it’s too short, and if the skirt rises up, it is too short. Cross you legs in the dressing room when you sit down. What does the skirt show? If it is showing a lot of leg, forget it, no matter how much you like it.

As a Christian, we are an example to the world. What we do, how we dress, and how we speak influences others. Even guard the look on your face. This is how people perceive you. The only thing they know you by is the look on your face. Have a happy face on at all times.

Young ladies, I want you to be modest. Don’t be afraid to cover yourself in decent clothes, even if no one else is doing it. Be an example of a Christian girl to others.

THANK YOU FOR MODEST LADIES

May 1st, 2013 | By admin

by Adam Faughn

Last Saturday was the greatest day of the year: Leah’s birthday. It was quite the unusual day, though, as I conducted a funeral midday. Also, since it was Saturday, we had to get home a little earlier than normal, so I could look over my sermon notes. (See what preacher’s wives go through?)

Anyway, we were at a local mall, when Leah started talking about something that was upsetting her. I was oblivious, and it was a good time to be so. In front of us were two girls, probably around 20 years of age, who were wearing shorts that nearly redefined “short.” She told me that a man holding his child had watched these two girls walk…for a long time. I was glad that I had been oblivious, because I hadn’t seen the girls until Leah mentioned what was going on.

Later, we walked by the store that doesn’t keep any “secrets.” This time, knowing what I might see, I took the time to see if my shoes needed cleaning. (They do, by the way.)

Finally, Leah couldn’t take it any longer. She just said, “There’s no way a Christian lady can compete.” After a brief exchange, it was clear that she was talking about these displays of sexuality, both in clothing and in advertising. It was also clear that she was truly bothered by this.

…and so was I.

So, today, I want to say “thank you” to Christian ladies who dress modestly. You are still fashionable and, of course, beautiful, but you do not allow the world to sway your standards of morality. You are mindful of God and His standard first, and you also are thinking of your Christian brothers.

As a man, I want to say “thank you.” I have a responsibility to keep my mind focused on what is pure (Philippians 4:8), but you help with that. You don’t load pictures of yourself in a swimsuit on Facebook for the whole world–including men–to see. You avoid showing parts of your body off that only your husband (or future husband) should ever see. You realize that sexuality is a strong temptation for the vast majority of men, and you refuse to be a stumbling block.

As a husband, I want to say “thank you.” Leah is gorgeous, and there is no more beautiful woman on the earth. But temptations are still real, and you aid me in keeping not only by body, but also my thoughts, totally centered on her.

As a dad to a young girl, I want to say “thank you.” You are a living example to my precious daughter. You are showing her that she can be fashionable and feminine, yet remain faithful to the standards of God. You are teaching her that her physical appearance is not all she is, but that she is far more.

As a dad to a young man, I want to say “thank you.” Having been a young man, I know how strong temptations are, and I also remember how they quickly become part of life. Turner is too young to feel them, but for how long? You are going to help him learn to respect ladies, not to just “get an eye-full” of them.

As a Christian, I want to say “thank you.” You are modeling modesty in an extremely immodest world. You are not letting the world shape your standards. You are showing Christ through even your choices of clothing.

I know this is a very difficult subject, and that finding modest clothing is getting more and more difficult. But ladies, please keep God’s standard as your highest priority. The rest of the world is really competing against you, and you have already won. You know that they feel like they have to dress immodestly to draw attention, but you draw attention both for your outward and inward beauty.

It isn’t a competition, but if it were, you would have already been declared the winner. Not by me, but by our Lord.

Today, I just want to say “thank you.”

Adam Faughn is the minister at Lebanon Road church of Christ. He is married and the father of two beautiful children. You can read more of his blogs on www.faughnfamily.com.

MAMA, WHY AM I DIFFERENT?

October 15th, 2012 | By admin

by Katt Anderson

Pam, a tall, slim girl of thirteen, leaned her shoulder against the door frame of the kitchen. Her arms were crossed, and tears filled her eyes. “Mama, why am I different?” she asked.

“Darling, you’re not different,” her mother replied. “What makes you think you are?”

Pam uncrossed her arms and flung them in the air. “Mama, I am different.” Tears coursed her cheeks. “My clothes are different and I don’t do things the other girls do. They make fun of me and call me names. Why can’t I do the things they do?”

Mama hugged her close. “Darling, you are the child of a King. You will be different all of your life. People will continue to smirk at you because your dress is not short and you don’t attend dances, but look what you have that they don’t.”

“I don’t understand.” Pam sat at the kitchen table and played with a tissue. “Why do I have to be different?”

Mama sat beside her and rubbed her arms. “We are God’s children. Many girls your age don’t know what it’s like to be at peace with their soul. They think they have to do things to bring attention to themselves, like short skirts, tight jeans, and low-necked shirts. They think that is what everyone wants to see, but it isn’t.”

“But, that’s in all the stores and magazines.” Pam wiped a tear from her face.

“Does it make it right to show so much of ourselves because it is in all the stores?” Mama asked. “I don’t think that is what God intended for girls. He wants us to be pure. Those clothes you see in the stores do not keep you pure and righteous. Man wants you to look that way, not God.”

“Everybody’s doing it, Mama. That is everyone but me!”

“Not everybody, honey. Look at Nikki, Emma, and Ashley. How are they dressed?” Mama got up and stirred the food she was cooking.

Pam twisted the tissue until it tore. “They’re made fun of the same as me. The girls say some pretty bad things about us and our longer skirts and baggie pants. Some even say we’re stupid because we haven’t had sex yet.”

“That’s not stupid, that’s smart. These girls don’t have any morals. They don’t care about their body. They do not respect their parents or their God. When they marry, their honeymoon will not be special and pure like yours will be. Their husband will be getting used merchandise. That’s not what I want for you, or what God wants for you. Our bodies should be pure and holy, not used and full of sin.” Mama sat back down and hugged her daughter.

“Is my skirt too long, Mama? They say it should be a lot shorter if I want to get a boyfriend.”

“Honey, when you sit down, your skirt does not show most of your leg. You do not get a boyfriend by showing your leg. You want a boy who will respect you, not lust after you.” Mama rose and picked up her Bible. “Let’s read what some of the sins of the flesh are. Galatians 5:19-26 tells us what the sins or works of the flesh are and what the fruits of the spirit are. Let’s look at them.

¹⁹ Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹ envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ²⁴ And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

“Now which would you rather be? Is it wise to commit the sins of the flesh and risk the punishment? You are the wise one. You are practicing what God wants you to do, and by your peace, joy, love, and kindness you have an opportunity to win these girls souls to Christ.”

Pam was quiet for a few minutes. “Mama, I see you’re right. I’m happy I’m a Christian and these girls will not hurt my feelings anymore. I’ve got to call Nikki. We need to talk about this. Thank you, Mama.”

EVERYONE’S DOING IT

September 21st, 2012 | By admin

by Katt Anderson

How many times have you asked your parents to do something, and they replied, “No.” You replied, “But everyone’s doing it!” You let out a breath, stomp your foot and mutter under something under your breath something you don’t want your parents to hear.

Sometimes it is not best to go with the crowd. If everyone was driving their car off a cliff, would you? “Well, no,” you’d say. Some of the things others are doing is as dangerous as driving your car off that cliff.

The Bible says we are to be different. 2 Corinthians 6:16 tells us that we are a living temple God. A temple is pure and holy. Respect for yourself will hinder you from doing what is wrong. Let’s look at some things that could cause a person to disrespect themselves.

First of all would be your friends. Your friends should be people who will not ask you to do anything that would cause you to disrespect yourself. They should be supportive of you in the right decisions you make. Most of us are fortunate to have good solid friends, but some don’t. Be aware of a friend who encourages you to smoke either tobacco or pot, or tries to bully you into drinking liquor. They are not your friend. You don’t need them. Run away from them.

Next would be your boyfriends. Don’t be misled by him when he tries to make you have sex by saying, “Everybody does it.” They don’t. There are many girls out there who have never had sex when they marry. This boy does not care about you. He only cares about getting what he wants. Dump him as fast as you can.

Another thing would be your dress. Last night I watched a Disney movie with my grandson. The short dresses the girls wore was shocking. What was the wardrobe people thinking about? Oh, I get it, it’s the style. Again, do you do everything everyone else does? I don’t think so. This is everywhere you go. Short skirts, halter tops, strapless tops, all showing more than should be shown. There’s not much left for the imagination anymore. What a shame. Girls, wake up and dress modestly. Parents, where are you when your child leaves the house?

Lastly, let’s talk about parents. You may think your parents are the dumbest things that ever walked the earth, but they have a lot of experience. They were in your shoes, and they still remember what it was like. It wasn’t too long ago since they had the same desires as you have right now. It’s hard to think about your parents as being kids once, but they were. Just like you, they came into the world as a baby and had to grow up. The hardest part of being a parent is watching your children make mistakes. Parents try to keep them from doing that because they love their children so much.

Everyone may be doing what is wrong, but not everyone does what is right. You don’t have to follow the crowd. You can say “no.” The dance or party that you want to go to, knowing there will be drugs and liquor, is not the place for a Christian or a good girl to go to. Listen to your parents. They know everyone is not doing it.

MODESTY

December 12th, 2011 | By admin

GOOD GIRLS OF THE BIBLE-VASHTI

August 5th, 2011 | By admin

by Katt Anderson

We only read about Queen Vashti once in the Bible, but she made a huge impact on many lives. Her story is told in the book of Esther, chapter 1 .

Queen Vashti was a beautiful woman. Probably the most beautiful in the world at that time. Her husband was King Ahasuerus and he was very wealthy. To show off his wealth, he had a feast for all the powerful people. He wanted to show off his riches. The feast lasted for 180 days. For about six months, they were at his palace eating his fine food and drinking his fine wine. He did not command anyone to drink the wine. Each man could make that decision. (more…)

ASK AUNT MARY-SWIMSUITS

July 7th, 2011 | By admin

Recently someone committed on one of the articles and asked for more information about swimsuits. You may not like what I say, but here goes.

To me, the only modest swimsuit is the one that was worn in the early 1900′s. Bottoms were below the knees, the top when over the hips and the neckline was almost to you neck. That is modest!

Today, swimsuits are very skimpy. I wear more than that to bed, so I sure wouldn’t want to be seen in public with practically nothing on. I would be embarrassed for my own mother to see me in some of the things that girls and women wear on the beach and at the pool. Yes, I’m old-fashioned.

Can you be modest in a swimsuit? No! There is nothing modest about being practically naked. When I think about modesty, I think about Queen Vashti in Esther 1:8-18.

In the previous verses, we read that King Ahasuerus had a seven day feast for the noble men of the country. Queen Vashti also had a feast for the wives. Wine had flowed in the kings feast for seven days, but he did not command anyone to drink, it was each person’s decision.

On the seventh day, he commanded Vashti to be brought to his feast wearing her crown. She was beautiful to look upon and he wanted to show her beauty. I’m sure he wanted her scantily dressed. (more…)

ASK AUNT MARY

June 9th, 2011 | By admin

Have you ever been to a store and saw the perfect dress? Most of us have and we just have to have it. Do you try it on and look at yourself in the mirror objectively? Can you see your flaws and the flaws of the dress?

There has been a lot written about dress before on this web site, but this is something I want to talk about one more time.

Our shape and what we wear. Do you know what looks good on you? I have a misshaped body and I know what I can and can’t wear. None of us has a perfect shape. Even those skinny models have flaws. You don’t see them because they know how to hide them.

Recently, I went to a wedding. A young couple, probably in their late teens, was walking in front of us. It’s usually windy where we live and you learn to dress accordingly. This young woman had on a nice dress with a full skirt. The dress was short to begin with, but the wind took her skirt and you can imagine the rest.

If you are a larger shape, don’t get things that are gathered around the waist. It only makes you look larger. I know a short skirt makes a larger woman look smaller. That is not always correct. If it is too short, it makes you look dumpy.

Short skirts are popular today, but there are no pretty knees. Cover them up. No one likes to look at knotty knees.

Be cautious of what you wear. Be pleasing to God.

AM I BEING MODEST?

May 31st, 2011 | By admin

Dear Aunt Mary,

When I go to friends houses to swim in their pool, I always wear shorts over my bathing suit. They always ask where my bathing suit is. Am I being too modest?

Modest Christian

Dear Modest Christian,

If you feel uncomfortable swimming with both boys and girls, you are doing the right thing by covering up. We are told in the Bible to be modest and not to be a person that is showy. 1 Tim. 2:9, 1 Peter 3:3-4.

So many people think that swimming with both sexes is okay, even wearing the skimpiest swim suit. It isn’t, especially when you are showing so much of your body. Wearing shorts is a good idea, as long as they are not short, short and too revealing. To be on the safe side, why not also include a tee shirt on the top? (more…)